While in office, do you suffer from “catagelophobia” (fear of being ridiculed)? Do you think your boss snubs you for the smallest of errors as he suffers from “atelophobia” (fear of imperfection) or does not accept any of your fresh ideas as he is afflicted with “cainophobia” (fear of newness, novelty)? Are you the one who hesitates approaching an old friend thinking he may not recognize you? Or do you feel abnormally anxious and develop cold feet whenever you are asked to say something? If yes, then it is time you did something about your fears and others too. The various irrational fears that you harbor and nurture in your mind from childhood can become utterly unreasonable and consequently can take control of your life in different levels, from mildest forms (unease, worry, anxiety, nervousness, tension) to the heightened ones (various phobias). Six of every ten people who suffer phobias are able to remember when the fear crisis occurred for the first time, i.e., when the sensation of panic became attached to the place or situation where it first happened. For these individuals, there is a very stark correspondence between the object and the sensation of fear. To know more on how to overcome fear, read on.
How To Get Over A Fear
“Fear is the main source of superstition, and one of the main sources of cruelty. To conquer fear is the beginning of wisdom” (Bertrand Russell). So blame it on your Stathmin gene or anything, the crux of the matter is that you have to defeat the enemy inside to win the battle against fear. To overcome all your negative subtle conditionings and to restore sanity, all you need to do is mould your thought process to a rational one. Scroll down the reflections that will enable you to deal better with the daemons inside and overcome your deepest fear.
Living In The Present
The psychological predisposition of fear is devoid of any concrete and imminent danger. You can always cope with the present moment, but you cannot cope with something hypothetical. Never assume that you can make a mind projection about what is coming. Planning is good, but then living in ‘this’ moment is of paramount importance. The very thought that you are not in complete control over what the future upholds will help you relax more and will not unnecessarily entangle your mind with anxiety about things beyond control. This is not fostering the typical ‘ostrich mentality’, but to reinforce the idea of living in the reality by honoring the ‘now’, without all circumspection and egocentricity. Remember the witty sayings of Charlie Brown in this regard: “I’ve developed a new philosophy… I only dread one day at a time”
“What potions have I drunk of Siren tears,
Distill’d from limbecks foul as hell within,
Applying fears to hopes, and hopes to fears,
Still losing when I saw myself to win!”- — Will – Sonnets
We should be careful of our defence-mechanism against fear. Oblivion of the reality, ultimately, is a fictitious, illusory and projected identity that we are trying to protect. By taking some control over our consciousness, we can refuse to be victimized by unconscious patterns of thoughts.
Relinquishing The False ‘I’
All kinds of fear (fear of failure, loss, certain insects, etc.) stem from one fundamental fear — the fear of death, annihilation. Death is an imminent threat to the human ego. That is why we always display compulsive behavior to be at the right side of any argument, to prove the other person wrong and to justify our case. Psychologists claim that this overtly defensive attitude is due to our fear of death. Our ego doesn’t allow us to think that we can do any wrong as our very sense of self is greatly threatened by any questionable act leading us to think “To be wrong is to die”. However, if you can disassociate your mind from this pseudo-self-pride and egoistical trappings, there will not be any serious need to win an argument. You can still be assertive without being engaged in a power-battle of one-upmanship with the other person. In short, you will bid an adieu to your fears. Just go for it!
A relatively easy way to deal with a persistent fear is to shift your focus on something more captivating and worthwhile. Try to peep from the window seat and catch the exquisite view if you are in a plane and sweating out of aviatophobia. Just keep yourself mentally busy, try not to concentrate on the cause of dread and gradually drag your focus and interest to a magazine or a book or anything that can hold your attention for a while. This will give you more breathing space to deal with fear significantly better. The cue is to distract yourself and not to panic, no matter how frightened you are. Remember, your fear is just an illusion and not true.
Just like any raw emotions, it is important to feel fear. However, with what intensity we react to it depends on us. Conquest of paranoia can only be possible through exposure and experience. Take the bull head-on, right now. Escaping will only deteriorate the situation and anticipating something worse to happen will never prepare you for the combat. It can only drain energy unnecessarily out of your system. So don’t let fear paralyze your life. It is befitting to end with Marianne Williamson’s quote, “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our Light, not our Darkness, that most frightens us… As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”